heroeswork: (Black and white serious)
Billy Collins ([personal profile] heroeswork) wrote2015-08-12 05:57 pm

I'm screaming from outside in, Tell me where I've been

Billy stepped out of his building hands shoved deep into his pockets. Even without anyone really knowing his face, he still wore sunglasses and kept his head down. If it weren't the middle of a hot summer day, he would have added a hat and a high-collared jacket as was demanded of him.

He wasn't happy. Far from it. They were in the heart of New York City. Just like he'd always dreamed. He was selling records like crazy. He had droves of fans. Always top of the charts. More than most people could ever achieve at the young age of 22. But it all seemed like it was happening to someone else. Because he only ever saw the studio or his home. Even after moving to New York a few months ago, he still didn't actually see anyone who liked his music. Because he was forbidden from performing. From even having his photo on his albums. Not even his real name appeared anywhere. He was billed as "CHAOS" and nothing more.

He wasn't supposed to even be outside. His manager forbid it unless he was present as well. But he was off dealing with some business for the day and Billy couldn't stand staying cooped up another moment. He bought a copy of Rolling Stone off the news vendor and ducked into a coffee shop. He found a dim corner away from everyone else as he sipped at his drink. He shoved his sunglasses on top of his head as he flipped opened the magazine. He was after a specific article, listed on the cover.

"True CHAOS" the headline yelled in bold, red letters. The subheading added "Fans and journalists alike demand 'Who is He?!'" The article went on to detail the mystery surrounding his own career. Statements from fans. Attempts to stalk the studio. Pleas for information. An analysis of his music trying to guess at what his accent when when he wasn't singing.

Billy scrubbed at the corner of his eye with the heel of his hand.
documentings: wehavetogoback @ insanejournal (to the village voice to any passing fad)

[personal profile] documentings 2015-08-19 10:06 am (UTC)(link)
Wow.

So Billy really did want to hang out with him. Mark tries to hide the fact that he's floored but fails miserably. And he knows they should wait for Roger--it would be the nice thing to do--but...

...But couldn't he be selfish? Just this once? Because Billy is looking straight at him. Straight at Mark and not Mark's camera, and it gives him a weird sort of fluttering feeling, like the first time he laid eyes on Maureen.


Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck no. That was not happening.

"We'll get a doggy bag or something," he states. There, see? He could be nice as well as selfish. He clears his throat. "You've got the money, so you get to decide the type of food. We'll go from there." Because he felt like he hadn't had a decent meal in days. Probably hasn't. In the distance, he can hear Angel's drum.

Idly, Mark wonders if Angel is cupid in disguise.
documentings: wehavetogoback @ insanejournal (the need to express to communicate)

[personal profile] documentings 2015-08-27 09:00 am (UTC)(link)
He knows Billy is trying to be good to him--he knows. It's a weird feeling, actually. Makes him slightly uncomfortable, but not in the way it normally does.

Today for you, Tomorrow for me. Wasn't that Angel's theme? Shouldn't he just go for it? He opens the door and locks it up, figuring they can get whatever they want in alphabet city. Even if part of him is tempted to order something ridiculously expensive just because it's from a record company he doesn't like. Just because it's sleaze.

He doesn't want to get Billy in trouble, though.

"You know," He says carefully, "Roger and I aren't charity cases, right?"

He's grateful, but there's a strange sense of pride. Especially for him--he hasn't known Billy for that long, after all. Who's to say he's just not feeding his guilt? Then again, isn't that what Mark is doing? Feeding his guilt by filming the homeless?

Shit.

Well, no one said Mark wasn't a hypocrite.
documentings: wehavetogoback @ insanejournal (To being an us for once instead of)

[personal profile] documentings 2015-08-28 04:29 am (UTC)(link)
"It's such a weird dichotomy," Mark follows Billy, skipping stairs but not racing down them--he'll probably break his ankle. "When do you just help someone out, and when is it a pity thing? That's the hard part. Like... When does it stop becoming art, and starts becoming work?"

They open the door and the drumming gets louder. Mark grins and starts heading towards it, touching the other's wrist for him to follow.

"Like, when did someone like CHAOS become schlok? He didn't start out that way. You evolve over time as an artist, but at one point did that guy decide to be chained up by corporate america and Valkyrie records? He didn't raise a hand and say 'hey, I'm going to sell my soul' obviously, but when was the big push? You know? Do you mind if we stop by and say hi to someone for a second?"
Edited 2015-08-28 04:32 (UTC)
documentings: wehavetogoback @ insanejournal (To days of inspiration playing hooky)

[personal profile] documentings 2015-08-30 12:55 am (UTC)(link)
"I doubt it's a conscious choice," Mark said casually, suddenly reaching into his usual bag. Pulling out the all-too familiar camcorder as he spots two young lovers by a bus stop. "But business people are good at corralling. You work in stuff like that, don't you realize how manipulative people can be?"

He's so casual, so confident, and as usual, he's started to lollygag as he winds up the old fashioned camera and shoots the couple.

"Maybe they even orchestrated his moving here, I dunno. All I know is that there's still something that and it's frustrating to hear an artist suffer like that. You can't compromise in art, not under the guise of collaborating. It's all bullshit." He's done, putting the camera away, and continues walking.

"You met Angel yet?"
documentings: wehavetogoback @ insanejournal (To going against the grain)

[personal profile] documentings 2015-08-30 07:15 am (UTC)(link)
"Geez, sorry it had to be us," But he doesn't sound sorry in the least, despite his usual self-deprecating humour. Hell, he just sounds amused as he swings down yet another alley to where the drumming is getting even louder.

"He's a regular fixture in Alphabet City. It's..." How does he even begin to describe Angel? "When I first met him, Collins--our roommate--dragged him over and we ate like kings and drank like fish, all because he shared the wealth. Hey, a bit like you, I guess--you're my Angel, huh?"

It's cheesy and corny and a terrible joke but Mark still thinks it's at least a little funny. Enough to laugh, anyway. "That was winter... Hey, Billy, do you ever just want to start over in your life, sometimes?"
documentings: wehavetogoback @ insanejournal (Going insane going mad)

[personal profile] documentings 2015-08-30 07:44 am (UTC)(link)
"I'd find Mimi," Mark says simply. Like that would make sense to the other. There's no way it would but it's mostly because they're out of the alley now, and he'd just seen the steeple of a familiar church. The same steeple he filmed on halloween last year. It was a good and bad thing, that was for sure.

A little further down the street, though, there's someone on the curb near an old phone booth that no one's used in ages. There's a plastic bucket from home depot and a pair of well used but well cared drumsticks drumming. They're in the hands of a dark skinned, possibly mixed man with short black hair and extremely pouty lips, but he doesn't seem to notice anything or anyone. All he's doing is drumming.

He's good, too. Extremely. And all he cares about is the music and the rythm and it seems Mark is sidetracked yet again. He doesn't have any coin to give Angel, obviously, but he pulls our his camera. Shoots the other and the street drummer doesn't even realize it.

Mark is directly behind Angel when Angel opens his eyes, looks up at Billy. He grins a wide, easy smile. "Honest living?" He asks. Spare some change?
documentings: wehavetogoback @ insanejournal (to the village voice to any passing fad)

[personal profile] documentings 2015-08-30 08:12 am (UTC)(link)
Angel stops, confused at the look Billy's giving him, and is about to open his mouth when he hears a familiar click and winding noise.

"Mark Cohen you should really learn to say hello, darling, instead of just filming."

"The power of art compels me," Mark says simply, and Angel gets up and wraps long, toned arms around the blonde and gives a huge smack of a kiss right on the lips. Mark only laughs and hugs him back, completely used to it.

"What brings you to Avenue B?"

"Grabbing a bite. Thought I'd say hi--Angel, this is Billy."

No judgement, no need for introductions, just love: Angel, smiling, wraps his arms around Billy's neck and kisses him on the cheek in greeting.

"You okay honey?" Angel asks. "Drumming too loud? Tired of Mark filming you?"

"I wasn't!"
documentings: wehavetogoback @ insanejournal (Hating convention hating pretension)

[personal profile] documentings 2015-08-30 08:38 am (UTC)(link)
"Y---"

And Mark absolutely beams at Billy since Angel, it seems, is at a loss for words. Mark feels stupidly proud, now. Like he's showing off Billy. Billy, who dresses like a shark but swims with the fish. Billy, who has alarmingly blue eyes and an amazing smile. Billy, who is still learning about Bohemia and is excited about every new thing.

Billy. Mark is showing off Billy.

Angel picks his jaw off the floor, grabs the pickle drum, and takes the money with well manicured, pink-painted nails.

"Today for you, tomorrow for me," he promises, and Mark smiles even wider, leaning in towards Billy.

"I'm bringing Stoli to Mark and Roger's tonight and you can't skip, Billy. Not when you're mysterious aloofness and kind generosity as made Mark so curious. That makes me curious."

"Where are you going?"

"Grocery shopping," Angel announces, but not before moving to kiss Billy on the cheek a second time. Mark laughs.

"I think you're just starting to buy your way into everyone's hearts," Mark remarks.
documentings: wehavetogoback @ insanejournal (Default)

[personal profile] documentings 2015-08-31 01:13 am (UTC)(link)
"Remind me to tell you the cautionary tale of Benny. For now? Let's go to lunch." And maybe--just maybe--there's a spring in his step as he continues walking.

"There's a great deli nearby--unless you wanted something fancier? I figure the best way to stiff it to the man is support more local artists. And since Life Cafe is off the books for the time being--I don't really feel like dealing with Maureen today--I figure that would do? I think Alfonso and a few other people are working, anyway, and he's got a great artistic skill with yarn, you should see, man! I thought about filming him, but I got... Sidetracked. Which reminds me."

He turns around, walking backwards. "You're not leaving the house until I sent you back with some of Roger's stuff I've filmed. Even if I still think you should just blow off the big-guys and hang out with us for the night."
documentings: wehavetogoback @ insanejournal (Not to mention of course hating)

[personal profile] documentings 2015-08-31 09:18 am (UTC)(link)
"I'm comfortable," Mark says completely automatically. It's in the same manner of 'I'm not worried, you're worried, but any rambling he can do is cut off by the fact that Billy's hands are on his shoulder.

Why the fuck, exactly, is Mark acting like a girl all of the sudden? He's driven Billy around, for god's sake. And yet... That smile, though. It was nice and Mark fumbles to give his own smile, suddenly shy and worried and feeling like he's at his Bar Mitzvah all over again, trying to talk to Caitlyn Goldstein.

"Actual conversation isn't my strong suit," He manages. "That awkward, huh?"
documentings: wehavetogoback @ insanejournal (Default)

[personal profile] documentings 2015-10-04 09:42 am (UTC)(link)
"This is sounding more and more like an awkward first date," Mark observes, and he can't help the words coming out of his mouth. He immediately regrets them, of course, but he forces himself to just pretend it's a joke.

"And anyway," He says quickly, "I doubt you want my level of sincerity with Roger." Because Mark can be a catty, pretentious asshole. More so than when he kept knocking CHAOS.

Part of him thinks Billy has to be straight and this is why it's all too good to be true. Maybe Billy just wants to be nice and help someone out, and while that would normally raise his hackles he finds himself unable to do so.
documentings: wehavetogoback @ insanejournal (Default)

[personal profile] documentings 2015-10-04 10:25 am (UTC)(link)
Mark can't help the grin on his face, even if he's shaking his head. "Nope," He says flatly. "I'm an observer. I observe, I don't wear masks."

Mark is an equal opportunity emotions-hider, apparently. But what Billy said had helped as he navigates the street--figures he'll go to local people to do the best damage to Billy's company credit card and pay the community back. It isn't long before he winds up at the East End Kitchen.

He's known by name not because he eats here a lot--he doesn't--but because the waitress is a spunk blonde with dreadlocks who asks him about Maureen's next spoken word at the Life Cafe. She immediately chitchats to Billy, too, because anyone around Mark has to be an alright person in her book.

"One of these days, you really should come to the cafe with us. Even Roger goes now that he has Mimi. He, uh. He used to not leave the house for a while, it was pretty bad."

Talking about other people is easier than talking about yourself, after all.

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